22nd January 2016
Do you want to know what the real secret is to creating a happy closet? Mindfulness. And do you know what mindfulness really is? Just a snazzy word for ‘to pay closer attention’. When we pay attention, we are mindful. When we are mindful, we are fully present in the ‘now’. That means putting the past to pasture and forgetting about the future. What is your life like today? And more to the point, how does your clothing reflect the person you at this point in time? Sounds simple yet we all get it oh-so-wrong. When faced with the prospect of letting go, we’ll pull out an arsenal of epithets with a few rounds of self-serving bias to justify potential over purpose (‘I might need it.’; ‘It could come in handy’; ‘You never know when you’ll need .’). It’s not easy, is it? Nor is mounting the mother of all defences to keep from black sacking your ‘pulling’ dress from 1998. Let it die with dignity; this is not Weekend at Bernie’s. So, just how does one let go gracefully?
Unless you are already taking steps to diet into those size 10 jeans, keeping them is preventing you from engaging with the now. By focusing on what doesn’t fit; you avoid having to deal with what’s real. Otherwise, they simply serve as a mockery; a reminder of our failed choices.
What’s so uncomfortable?
If parting with that sweat-stained t-shirt from your ex is a cognitive feat too far, there’s probably an unresolved fear afoot. Figuring out the ‘why’ behind your resistance will help release the chokehold on the past. P.S. You will find another relationship; just get rid of the smelly DNA sample.
Don’t deny it
The act of holding onto clothes that no longer serve you subconsciously allows you to fall back into old habits. Denial prevents us from real growth (and is an insidious form of self-rejection). Holding onto things that don’t fit makes a mockery of who we are today. If you’ve no longer got any room in your life for whatever is taking up space, it needs to go. STAT.
The words ‘it’ll do’ never did anything. Don’t simply buy something because it is adequate. The more you make do, the more you’ll be prepared to compromise. Good enough is exactly what got you here.
Stop trying to make it work
If it doesn’t work now; it won’t ever work later. So, stop trying to make it work. When something is right – be it a relationship or a pair of jeans – it just fits. It doesn’t need clauses and conditions to justify its presence.
For more tips on how to part with poise, pick up a copy of The Happy Closet.